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Living up to their expectations

Do parents have a favourite child?

As a kid, I would always believe this having two younger siblings of my own. I would feel as if each one of us were always treated differently, that one was loved more than the other, that they could get away with things that I couldn't. When I would confront my parents about this, I would always hear the same answer "We love you all equally!", then why didn't I feel this way?

Being the oldest, sometimes you feel like all the weight had been shoved onto your shoulders, that you had the highest expectations to live up to, as you were the one setting the example for your siblings. Whenever your siblings would succeed in something that you found difficult, you would have this feeling of failure creep up on you, that you did not do as you were supposed to. I have had this feeling many times, I still do today in some occasions, but I have learnt something important which I am still learning to accept. My siblings and I are not the same person. We are each special and our uniqueness is what makes us so beautiful.

I must learn to accept the person that I am, I cannot go around comparing myself to the rest of the world that they are better than me, for this will just lead me into that toxic mentality that I am not worth anything that I am not loved or appreciated. This state of mind is not healthy for me or the ones I surround myself with.

Nowadays with the huge impact of social media in our lives, we are constantly comparing. We compare our lives, our bodies with celebrities or just our own lives with other friends and colleagues. We are labelling everything, allowing us to subconsciously set us up for failure. This label placed upon yourself can cause huge pressure for us. It can create a fear of living up to the expectation and make us worry that if we fail our value is meaningless.

Comparing one’s self to others expectations and fulfilling everything they want from you can cause a lack of self-growth and improvement. Stop saying “You’re smarter than Jane” or “Jane is so much better than you”. Look in the mirror and say such things as “I’m proud of you” “I’m so happy that you’re doing great work”. Radiate the positivity that you want to have in your life. Make yourself feel happy and appreciated, this will lead you to being more motivated to succeed. Accept yourself for the person you are. Remember each person is unique and have their own talents. We all grow in our time. If you compare their skills to another you take away that gift of uniqueness we have been given. We begin to fear failure and mistakes so much that we eventually stop trying in case we fail. Failure is possible, no matter on what path you are, however, it is failure that allows us to grow. This negative stigma that has been created around failure must be removed. We grow stronger and smarter because of it. For us to know what the good days were, we must have the bad days. For us to know what success is, we must learn what failure is.

Think about it. Failing doesn't seem so scary now, does it?

For the Kids

FG Child

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